Few things make people more emotional than issues that involve their children. The average parent who wants to give their children a better life than they experienced, often by providing both emotional support and financial resources for their children.
When parents decide to divorce, concern about the impact on their children is often at the forefront of their minds. Most people have heard stories about how divorce harmed a child’s mental health or their academic performance. Parents who are proactive about providing their children with support and avoiding problematic behavior can reduce how difficult and stressful divorce and shared custody can be for children.
Children can bounce back and even thrive after their parents divorce. What do children need to live their best lives when their parents divorce?
A buffer from parental conflict
Research consistently shows that the disputes between parents are often more damaging than the divorce itself. Children who witness parents bad-mouthing each other may internalize some of that criticism. Parents need to find healthy ways to express their emotions so that they don’t get into loud arguments during custody exchanges or otherwise expose their children to needless disputes.
Consistency and a predictable schedule
Children do best in scenarios where they know what to expect and what others expect of them. If the rules are different at both houses, that may lead to children feeling stressed and being to meet the expectations of one or both of their parents. Maintaining consistent rules and family expectations could help children transition to the new shared custody arrangement more comfortably.
Appropriate social support
Parents aren’t the only ones experiencing intense emotions during divorce proceedings. Children may feel intense anger or grief. They may blame themselves for the breakdown of the relationship between their parents. Parents should do their best to be supportive and non-judgmental. They may also need to look into either support groups or counseling services to help their children handle their strong emotions.
With the right approach, parents can mitigate the factors that often make divorce and shared custody so hard on children. To start, making the children the focal point of all major decisions during and after divorce can help parents avoid causing unintentional harm with their actions or their emotions.